


Breakin' my heart (pretty green eyes)

by Star20



Category: Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, F/F, Friendship, Future, Slow Burn, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:54:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28695759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star20/pseuds/Star20
Summary: "The first time Clare Devlin saw Michelle's eyes she knew she was going to become a huge part of her life."Or a 5+1 Oneshot where Clare has several encounters with her favorite green eyes in Northern Ireland.
Relationships: Clare Devlin/Michelle Mallon
Kudos: 13





	Breakin' my heart (pretty green eyes)

**1**

  
The first time Clare Devlin saw Michelle's eyes she knew she was going to become a _huge_ part of her life. They were in kindergarten and both of their mothers were talking about an adult topic they considered too boring to handle. However, they _didn't_ encounter it because of their moms. The blonde girl made her acquaintances with the raven-haired girl in a situation most of us would rather scape _of_.

  
  
A group of bullies was bothering _Clare_ by telling mean things to her about her physical appearance, how her eyes were too blue or her skin too pale, and even how she was too fat . One of these bullies was called Jenny, a _terrible_ name for someone who seemed like a good kid. It _wasn't_ the truth indeed. While the blonde girl was being cornered and her eyes were almost crying, a _brave_ girl with bright green eyes appeared in the crowd and said.

  
  
"Leave _her_ alone! Or I'll do something my mommy won't _let me_ "

  
  
Those words were strong enough to make the group of bullies run away and leave the two girls alone. They looked at each other for a moment until Clare lifted her eyes to the little girl in front of her, she had green eyes and messy curly hair. She seemed _nicer_ than the rest of the kids.

  
  
"Thank _you_ "

  
  
Said the small blonde girl who immediately after her words offered a piece of her home-made lunch to the unknown person in front of her. The girl with green eyes smiled and grab the food carefully in her hands. They remained in silence for a moment until Clare's mother called her in the distance.

  
  
"Do you want to come home and play with me?"

  
  
Asked a tiny Clare Devlin to the girl whose name remained unknown. The other lass grinned and nod with her head.

  
  
"Of course! Oh, I forgot to say my name, I'm Michelle"

  
  
The blonde girl smiled again and said.

  
  
"I'm Clare! I'm my mum is waiting for us"

  
  
They played all afternoon in a pink room with Clare still _wondering_ how her eyes were so green.

  
  
**2**

  
  
It was Michelle's 12th birthday, and it meant all the girls would meet in her house and do what they always do, eat junk food, and watch rented movies. If only it would be the only innocent thing that would happen that night. The thing is, that Michelle Mallon didn't consider herself as a child, not anymore. As a consequence, she believed she could have secrets and no one would deny her anything she fancied. In this case, a boyfriend. Her first real boyfriend.

  
  
"Why have you invited him?"

  
  
Asked an angry Dreairie to her teenage daughter who was casually holding hands with a lad in front of her. The small girl rolled her eyes and with no coherence sentence formulated left the room and went to her bedroom where her friends were. Her mother would not tell her what to do with _her_ life.

  
  
"What is your favorite Michael Jackson song? From one to ten?"

  
  
Asked Erin to Michelle's boyfriend who was still confused about how was he supposed to be around her girlfriend's friends.

  
  
"I think _'the girl is mine_ ' is sublime, and it was very _well_ written, is so romantic and _pure_ and honest and-"

  
  
"Can you let the boy talk _Erin_? You're being rude! sorry about that Jonah, my best friend _doesn't_ know how to control herself if Michael is in the conversation"

  
  
Said Clare with a bright smile on her face, making the lad in front of her feel slightly uncomfortable with her intense eye contact. He looked at Michelle next to him and whispered something In her ear. As a consequence, the black-haired girl smiled. But, meanwhile, someone was looking at them with a curious look on her face. Do her eyes always shine with _his_ touch? Does the same happen when she looks up at _her_? Why did you just ask yourself _that_ , Clare?

  
  
Still unsure about why her mind decided to follow its road, Clare Devlin fought with herself all afternoon.

  
  
Because she couldn't stop looking at Michelle and her boyfriend smiling at each other with a _pinch_ in the bottom of her chest.

  
  
**3**

  
  
Her dress was too dark to shine but it did. _Somehow_ , she could see her from the distance even though the lights were off and her hand was joined with Mae's. Her eyes decided to follow a black dot in the distance. She has known her friend for as long as she can remember, however, she never saw her like _that._ She was wearing a black dress, her hair was curled more than _ever_ and her make-up was _strategically_ placed on her face. She was the same Michelle as she has always been. But, tonight, she was different, she was still a _mess_ , with two dates in the same prom, and a dress she could not _possibly_ afford. Tonight she looked more like...a _girl?_ definitely she did. And Clare has never wanted to admire at her so _fervently_. She would not deny it, her best friend was beautiful, she knew she _was_. However, today, at that exact spot in the corner of the dance floor, Clare's mind decided to formulate a sentence she would probably regret later.

  
  
_Would she have dressed well if she has gone with me instead?_

  
  
But you are with _her_ , Clare, **plus** , she _always_ dresses well, every single _day_. repeated more than once the small girl as soon as the unfortunate sentence came into her head. Probably if she looked at Mae for a long time her head would stop making stupid comments. She didn't help but think how different the situation would be if Michelle were with her, in that same position. Her arm around hers and a smile on her face. _When did the room become tinier?_ Clare questioned herself. She hasn't eaten yet, it was probably a mix of dehydration and hunger. _**Sure**_. It was only a human response to normal necessities.

  
  
"You look _hot_ "

  
  
Said a low voice in front of her. The person she has just been thinking about has magically appeared in her line of sight making the tiny blonde girl smile and _momentarily_ forget about her date, who was now nowhere to be found.

  
  
" _Thank you_ "

  
  
Answered with a tiny smile and a _treacherous_ blush that appeared out of nowhere. She could not have logically blush because of her best friend. It just mustn't make sense. Though, the intense blush remained on her cheeks and refused to _abandon_ her.

  
  
"No, I mean, like actually hot, like physically hot"

  
  
Said Michelle abruptly while moving her intense green eyes up and down her blue dress. She tried as much as she could to avoid associating her action with some sort of attraction to her. She never found a logical reason why her eyes looked even greener than before. It made her heart whisper Michelle's name for a second, she has never made her react in such a way, it was _scary_. But most importantly, it was _new_.

  
  
"You'd better not be sweating in that dress!, Clare. They won't give me a refund if there's a whiff of it"

  
  
"I'm not sweating!"

  
  
Said Clare irritated by her best's friend's suppositions.

  
  
"Let me check"

  
  
She grabbed her arm and tried to move it up as to see if she was correct. Clare didn't let her do it. Instead, she said

  
  
"Get off me!"

  
  
She was mad at her, she truly was, but still, she couldn't help but reckon about someone else while slow dancing. She wanted to be with a lass whose dark hair made her look fearless and brave. She wished ,for a small second, to be as brave as her and ask her to dance. She _didn't_.

  
  
After having a long shower and getting rid of all the tomatoes salse in her hair and her dress. She tried to save the beautiful fabric, but, _eventually_ , the dress had to be sent to the bin. Clare wanted to sleep as fast as she touched the bed. She was tired and the rest of the girls, including her, have been punished. It would be in her permanent record. She would kill Jenny Joyce.

  
  
_Yet_ , she could only think about Michelle and her green eyes on the dance floor. She didn't question why her heart moved a little in her chest that night, or why she _couldn't_ look at Michelle in the eye the next day. All she did was enjoy her dreams about her best friend and her green eyes looking at her.

  
  
**4**

  
  
The night before everyone seemed to be ready for the test, the truth is, they had no idea why they couldn't learn anything. Maybe they would have gotten an idea if they would have read the books instead of pass the pages quickly. As always, the only person who would be worried about school was almost ready for the test. Or at least she thought she was. She tried to sleep several times but her mind would make excuses up to be awake for much longer than she initially wanted. She was furious. She wanted to _stop_ thinking about her so fervently, but her brain won't _let_ her. Clare Devlin has been feeling confused and troubled ever since the 50s formal. Since then, she has been acting not like herself around someone who was unquestionably not aware of her behavior.

  
  
Michelle Mallon was an expert in several things, she was able to detect hidden spaces where booze could be found, she could also flirt with any human being possible (one time she even made a dog chase her around), and finally, she could say her opinion about any topic without worrying about the consequences of her words. She was brave, and Clare had to admit it to herself, however, her best friend was unable to do several things as well. One of those things was that Michelle couldn't identify other people's feelings about her correctly, in Clare's case, she didn't notice her shift of behavior after the ball. Or at _least_ the blonde girl thought she didn't. As a consequence of Clare's actions and Michelle's concern about her friend, a succession of uncomfortable moments emerged out of nowhere between them. One of those moments was happening right now, in the middle of a sleepover.

  
  
The lights were off and everyone was sleeping. Orla and Erin were sharing a bed, both of them were yawning loudly and sleeping with their legs in a weird position but yet tight together. While James was sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor, holding a pillow in both of his hands as he was hugging someone. On the other hand, two pairs of eyes were widely open and sleep was not around the corner, it wasn't even closer. Clare and Michelle were up but neither of them had the courage enough to move away from their comfortable position on the floor. Michelle knew she wanted to talk with her friend, so, as _always_ , she took initiative and moved closer to her, still inside her sleep bag.

  
  
"We will fail tomorrow, aren't we?"

  
  
Asked Michelle in a whisper trying to look at her friend in front of her in the eye. She never accomplished her mission. Clare reluctantly kept looking down to the floor pretending to be sleeping. Maybe like that she wouldn't have to come across Michelle's green eyes.

  
  
"Probably, yes"

  
  
She was unable to say no more. Out of nowhere, they felt a whisper coming from someone else in the room. Thankfully, it was only Orla, who was doing aerobics in her dreams. Still focusing on her mission to solve the wherever problem between Clare and herself, the curly girl tried again and answered

  
  
" _Can_ I ask you a question?"

  
  
_Now that was weird_. Thought Clare immediately, her friend was the most straightforward person she knew, _why would she suggest to ask a question?_ As far as she was concerned, things were serious, it had to be important. The blonde girl nod with her head and smiled at her raven-haired friend.

  
"Are we _okay_? I mean, is there anything I should be fucking _worried_ about? I don't know why you have been a _craic_ killer lately, Clare"

  
  
The question and the affirmation caught her by surprise. She had to take a deep breath and think, fastly, she had no choice but to answer the question and say the truth. But, to be honest, _what would it be the truth? Finding your best friend pretty is not a sin, right?_

  
  
"I'm sorry Michelle, I just-I got scared after the ball, you know, I _just_ -

  
  
"You just what?"

  
  
Said Michelle impatiently with a little scream. Her friend was making her go nuts, she needed to know she was important to her, when did Clare become a fucking _decisive_ _choice_ in her life? What the fuck is happening with my _heart_? **_Stop, stop, stop_** stupid organ!

  
  
"I think you're _pretty_ "

  
  
Now her heart was fighting to get out of her chest and she had no idea why. She smiled uncomfortably and let her talk, for once.

  
  
"I guess I just-I just felt weird because I didn't know if I'd tell you this, you know? But we are good, even if we fail tomorrow"

  
  
_Silence_. For a moment, she believed her friend was speechless. But the small sound of a deep breath gave her the clue about her friend's situation, she has fallen asleep, while talking. Typical Michelle. Still, she knew things would be okay, they would fail in the exam, but they would fail together.

  
  
**5**

  
  
Ever since the sleepover, things have been good, excellent, between Michelle and Clare. They have been closer than ever, they have been so near that, incredibly, Michelle has recently helped Clare to get a date with a girl she has been into for a long time. She was part of her writing club and she has been flirting with her ever since she found out she was gay. It was priceless, Clare has got a lifetime experience she had to live to the fullest. Michelle, of course, was there with her helping her to get ready for the date. She couldn't believe it, she would have her first date, with a lass, and Michelle was there with her. Her smile was too big for her face to handle.

  
  
"Do you think I look good _Michelle_?"

  
  
Asked Clare getting out of her closet wearing a blue dress similar to the one she wore in the 50s prom. Her eyes were still with no makeup on them and her lips were still with the chapstick she has been wearing all day. Her hair was curled because of the braids she has made the night before and her nails were unpainted. Nonetheless, as from the way Michelle was looking at her she imagined she was probably looking good. It was nameless, her best friend's eyes were wide open as same as her mouth and for _once_ , this time it was real, she was speechless.

  
"Michelle? Are you _okay_?"

  
Asked the tiny girl still waiting for an answer.

  
"You look _beautiful_ "

  
Said Michelle with the softest voice she has ever heard coming from her lips. _Why was she saying it in that tone of voice? Was she sad?_

  
  
"Thank you! But I _still_ need to put my makeup on and-"

  
  
She couldn't finish her sentence because an angry Michelle interrupted her saying something that moved the floor under her feet.

  
  
"You don't fucking need all _that_ Clare, you are beautiful just like _that_ , if she can't see it then she is not for _you_ "

  
  
_Was she defending her? Was she saying something else she was not catching on to her words?_ She had no clue why _suddenly_ she wished to take out her uncomfortable dress, call her date, and cancel the whole plan to be in her room with _Michelle_. The power of her words also gave her a strange feeling in the skin of her lips, they were warm and fuzzy, the exact same sensation when the characters in her books were about to kiss their significant other. Hold **on** , she didn't want to kiss Michelle, didn't _she_?

  
  
" _Clare?_ "

  
  
Asked Michelle starting to worry about her blonde friend who was intensively looking at her with her blue eyes that imitated the sea. _Since when did I just compare things like this?_ Wow, Clare was _definitely_ changing her. It was _scary_.

  
  
"Thank you, now I feel better"

  
  
Said Clare in a small whisper only for her to listen. Michelle was worried now, more than ever. Her friend didn't sound like herself, she was not _nervous_ , not _anxious_ , and surely not worried about her date. _Why do her words make her feel like that? What changed?_

  
  
"No _problem_ "

  
  
Another whisper, Clare had to stick her feet to the floor to avoid moving closer to her. She had no idea why she wanted to touch her hand who was just a few inches away from hers. _What would her lips taste like? **Wait!**_ _Why did you just question that, Clare?_ Screamed the small girl on her head while her chest was almost opening because of the intense beating inside her heart. She had to let go, _now_ , or her impulses would break apart herself in pieces and Michelle in the process.

  
  
"Clare! Your _date_ is here!"

  
  
_Oh crap, her date_. Thought Michelle when hearing Clare's mother's voice coming from downstairs. She quickly moved away from her friend who was now closer than she has ever been and curled her hair with her fingers. Then, she put red lipstick on her lips and added makeup on her lashes. If she has been on the date with her, she wouldn't have to wear any of those cheap things, she was beautiful on her own. She was proud to be her friend, even if it hurt for an unnamed reason.

  
  
"Don't be a craic killer and good luck"

  
  
Said Michelle hugging her friend and retouching her makeup for the last time. Clare never knew, but her curly friend wished she was there with her, as a date friend she said, but both of them dressed up nicely and having a good time. Sadly, she never got to ask her, a short time after the date, Clare left for university, leaving Michelle and the rest of the gang apart. It shouldn't have hurt the way it did, but eventually, she would heal, with time.

  
  
**+5**

  
  
_Have their lips always been so pink?_

  
  
_Have their eyes always bright so vividly?_

  
For now, all she could reckon was that she was now seeing her from the distance with an intense feeling on the bottom of her stomach which was silently moving to the bottom of her heart. She knew she was not supposed to be here, she was sure she shouldn't be staring at her at that exact moment. But she didn't have the will enough to let her eyes move back to the floor. Her eyes were suddenly shining and for an odd reason, her hands were sweating. _Since when has she been so focused on her?_ Why didn't she just _ignored_ the negative feelings when she saw her walking in the night of Edinburgh? She had no clue.

  
  
Clare Devlin has been living in Edinburgh ever since she started her new job as a journalist fighting for the rights of the _**LGBTQ**_ community. Even though it was the year 2000, people were still acting wrongly and discriminating against people like her. Leaving Derry was one of the hardest decisions she could have ever taken, her friends, her family, her hopes and dreams were there. However, she decided to follow her dreams and help people in need, in this case, she would spread the word and write about her community. It was liberating and yet, extremely scary. Similarly, looking at your ex-best friend for the distance was terrifying as well. They never got into a fight, they simply stopped talking. Sadly, she was never able to talk to her about how she has been feeling about her. She forced herself to believe she was not into her, she did not like her. However, she couldn't avoid the bad feeling on her chest when she saw her again, her friend has just slipped into her hands and Clare couldn't accept it. For a small second, she wanted to run, to go away and never see her again. But it was pointless because a pair of green eyes have just appeared in front of her, making her smile immediately. _What was wrong with her?_

  
  
"Hey Clare, um, how have you been? I haven't seen you in ages!"

  
  
_Act cool Michelle, do not let her know she affects you_. The truth is, she has missed her best friend more than she was able to admit. She still didn't know why, all she was able to identify is that she wanted to make her stay there, make her stay with _her_.

  
  
"I have been better, what about you?"

  
  
_I miss you_

  
  
"I'm grand, I want to study this year, yes me, Michele studying, but I want to become a lawyer, remember how I used to fight everyone until I was right? _well_ , I discovered I can fight for the right things, just like _you_ "

  
  
_Did she just investigate me over the years?_

  
  
"Don't act so surprised, I'm still friends with Erin, _remember_? She told me about _you_ "

  
  
There it was again, her green eyes, they were shining significantly this time. _Were they shining with passion or with something more?_ For an odd reason she wished it was the first one, it made her entire body shake in response.

  
  
"Lawyer huh? We should work together then, _right_?"

  
  
_Please say yes, I don't want to leave you again._

  
  
"Of course!"

  
  
A moment of silence occurred between them, _is it the end? Are they going to separate again?_

  
  
"I _miss_ you, Clare, _honestly_ , I don't know why we just- _you know_?

  
  
_Because I couldn't handle my feelings for you_. _**Wait**_ , did she just _casually_ answered that? _What feelings Clare_?

  
  
"Me too, tons, but the good thing about friends is that you can be friends again, _isn't it_?"

  
  
Asked Clare with her heart on her chest beating like a thousand bombs. She desperately wanted her to say yes, to never let her side. Strangely, she wanted to be with her all day, all night, every day for the rest of the year. She couldn't resist missing her green eyes any longer, it was _painful_.

  
  
"Of course Clare, even if you are a craic killer most of the times"

  
  
_Desire, Friendship, Love_. Her eyes were screaming those three emotions at her, and suddenly, it made her realize a feeling she was not sure she had ever felt before. She felt like a ball hitting on the floor, hard and bouncing. The fall was slow but the hit was strong. She finally realized why she wandered around her green eyes all the time, why she wanted to be with her in the 50s prom, why she has been missing her for so long even when she had no idea they were in the same city. She was irremediably _in love_ with her. She has probably been _loving_ her for more than she was conscious of, probably years. _Unfortunately_ , it was probably too late to do anything to change their situation, still, she could be her friend and stay like that for a long time, as long as she is with her. So she held her hand and invited her to have a cup of coffee, to restore the years they have missed she said. Michelle grinned at her and her eyes were as beautiful and green as they have ever been. She didn't want to leave her side ever again.

  
  
Little did she know that her curly friend never wanted to leave her side either.

Michelle, also, walked with her to the coffee shop with a consistent idea trembling inside her head.

  
  
_Why have I never noticed how kissable her lips were?_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this short story! I have to admit it isn't my best work but yet I think is cute and it could probably have a continuation but with Michelle's point of view
> 
> let me know in the comments if you would like to read Michelle's view :)
> 
> As always, thank you for all your support


End file.
